Understanding Intimate Partner Violence: What Everyone Should Know
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is something that touches more lives than many people realize. It happens in dating and marital relationships when one partner tries to control or dominate the other. While it’s often confused with domestic violence, there’s a difference: domestic violence can happen between any family members, but IPV is specific to romantic relationships.
The numbers are heartbreaking. Every month, about 70 women are killed by their partner, adding up to more than 800 lives lost each year. These tragedies remind us why awareness, prevention, and support matter so much.
What IPV Can Look Like
IPV doesn’t always start with physical harm—it can take many forms:
· Physical abuse: hitting, slapping, kicking, or more severe violence.
· Emotional and psychological abuse: manipulation, gaslighting, or making someone doubt their own reality.
· Financial abuse: controlling money or limiting access to resources.
· Sexual abuse: coercion, assault, or any unwanted sexual activity.
Take gaslighting, for example. Imagine one partner being caught in questionable behavior, and when confronted, they respond with “That’s not what happened,” or “You misunderstood.” Over time, this tactic makes the other partner doubt what they saw, what they felt, and even their own judgment.
The truth is, IPV doesn’t always look like a black eye or a broken bone. It often begins quietly—with checking phones, questioning where you are, or showing jealousy over small interactions. These behaviors can build over time, becoming more intense and dangerous.
Why Firearms Make IPV Even More Dangerous
Access to firearms dramatically increases the risk of IPV turning deadly. More than two-thirds of IPV-related homicides involve a firearm, and nearly 80% of those victims are women. In recent years, many mass shootings have also involved perpetrators targeting a current or former partner.
Unfortunately, relaxed gun laws in many states make it easier for abusers to get weapons. This makes advocacy for stronger firearm regulations an essential piece of IPV prevention.
Spotting the Red Flags Early
When you’re dating, it’s easy to focus on chemistry and connection—but it’s just as important to ask deeper questions like:
· How do you handle stress or conflict?
· What happens when you’re angry or frustrated?
· Have you ever been violent or arrested for violence?
They may feel uncomfortable to ask, but these conversations can reveal important red flags early on. Remember: unhealthy patterns usually show up in small ways first.
Legal Protections and Your Rights
If you are in an IPV situation, knowing your legal options can make a huge difference:
· Restraining Orders: Prevent an abuser from contacting you.
· Protective Orders (50-B in NC, varies by state): Can remove an abuser from a shared home, provide temporary custody, and even require the surrender of firearms.
It’s also wise to seek legal help so you don’t have to navigate the court system alone.
Where to Turn for Help
You don’t have to go through this alone. There are people and resources ready to support you:
· National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
· RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
· Local shelters and crisis centers: Many communities have 24/7 hotlines and safe housing.
· Counseling and therapy: A safe space to process trauma, heal, and rebuild.
At Peridot Consulting and Treatment Solutions, PLLC, we provide compassionate counseling for individuals and couples navigating the effects of IPV. Whether you need help understanding what you’re going through, finding resources, or building healthier relationships, we are here for you.
How You Can Be Part of the Solution
Ending IPV isn’t just about supporting victims—it’s also about creating change in our communities. Here are some ways to make a difference:
· Support stricter firearm safety laws.
· Volunteer at or donate to local shelters.
· Educate young people about healthy relationships.
· Speak up when you see red flags in your community.
Your voice and actions matter. Even small steps can help save lives.
Final Thoughts
IPV is a heavy topic, but talking about it is a powerful step toward change. Abuse thrives in silence, and by breaking that silence, we create space for healing, safety, and hope.
If you or someone you know is experiencing IPV, please reach out. Support is available, and you do not have to walk this path alone. Peridot Consulting and Treatment Solutions, PLLC, is here to help you navigate these challenges with care and compassion.
✨ You are not alone. There is help. There is hope.