Why Fewer Americans Are Saying ‘I Do’: Understanding the Decline in Marriage and Birth—and What We Can Do About It
Over the last 50–60 years, marriage in America has undergone a dramatic shift. According to the United States Census Bureau, marriage rates have steadily declined from 78.8% in 1949 to just 46.8% in 2024. For those who value long‑term committed relationships, these numbers can feel discouraging. But beyond personal concerns, this trend carries significant social implications—affecting family stability, community well‑being, and even the nation’s economic future.
When we look at marriage trends across racial and ethnic groups, the picture becomes even more complex. While Asian American marriage rates have remained high since 2004, marriage among Black and White Americans has continued to decline. This raises an important question: What is driving these shifts, and what can we learn from them?
This blog explores the major reasons behind the decline in marriage and childbirth in America—and offers meaningful, practical perspectives for individuals who desire marriage but have struggled to find or maintain healthy relationships.
Why Marriage Is Declining in America
The decline in marriage is not sudden—it has been unfolding for decades. Several interconnected factors contribute to this shift:
1. Economic Pressures and Financial Instability
The cost of living has risen sharply, while wages have not kept pace. Many Americans feel financially unprepared for marriage, let alone raising children. When individuals are working multiple jobs just to stay afloat, the idea of building a family can feel overwhelming or even unrealistic.
This financial strain also affects childbirth. The National Center for Health Statistics reports that many women are delaying or forgoing marriage and motherhood to pursue education, career advancement, and financial stability. In other words, people are not rejecting marriage—they are postponing it until they feel secure enough to sustain it.
2. Shifting Social Norms and Expectations
Marriage is no longer viewed as the automatic next step into adulthood. Today’s young adults prioritize personal growth, mental health, career development, and autonomy. While these are positive shifts, they also mean that marriage is often placed on the back burner.
Additionally, societal conversations tend to focus heavily on whether people should marry or have children, rather than addressing the structural barriers that make these milestones difficult to achieve. We talk about the importance of family, yet fail to ensure that families can thrive.
3. Educational and Career Demands
Higher education and specialized career paths require time, money, and emotional energy. Many individuals—especially women—are choosing to establish themselves professionally before entering marriage. This often pushes marriage and childbirth into later adulthood, reducing the likelihood of both.
4. Limited Relationship Skills and Social Connection
As a therapist, I often hear couples say, “I wish someone had taught me this in school.” Many people enter adulthood without foundational relationship skills—communication, conflict resolution, emotional regulation, and healthy attachment patterns. Without these tools, relationships feel harder to maintain, and marriage feels riskier.
At the same time, social interaction has decreased. Technology, busy schedules, and limited community engagement reduce opportunities for people to meet potential partners.
How the Decline in Marriage Connects to the Decline in Childbirth
Marriage and childbirth are deeply intertwined. When marriage becomes less accessible—financially, socially, or emotionally—birth rates naturally decline. People want to raise children in stable, supportive environments, and when stability feels out of reach, they delay or opt out altogether.
This trend has long‑term implications for the workforce, the economy, and the social fabric of communities. But more importantly, it reflects the lived experiences of individuals who desire connection, partnership, and family but feel blocked by circumstances beyond their control.
What Can We Do? Practical Solutions for a Healthier Future
1. Make Marriage and Family Life Financially Sustainable
The federal minimum wage remains $7.25 per hour—far below what is needed to support a household. While some states have increased their minimum wage, many have not. To rebuild confidence in marriage and family life, we must:
Increase access to livable wages
Ensure skilled and specialized labor is compensated fairly
Expand affordable housing
Reduce the financial burden of childcare
In short, we must “make marriage and family life affordable again.” When people feel financially secure, they are more likely to pursue long-term commitments.
2. Teach Relationship Skills Early and Often
Healthy relationships are not intuitive—they are learned. Schools, colleges, and community programs can play a powerful role by teaching:
Communication skills
Emotional intelligence
Conflict management
Healthy boundaries
Understanding attachment and relational patterns
These skills not only strengthen future marriages but also improve friendships, workplace relationships, and overall well-being.
3. Encourage Social Interaction and Community Building
People need opportunities to meet, connect, and build meaningful relationships. Encouraging community involvement, peer engagement, and social activities can increase the likelihood of forming long‑term partnerships.
4. Model Healthy Relationships for the Next Generation
Children learn about relationships by watching the adults around them. When parents, caregivers, and community members model respect, communication, and emotional safety, young people grow up believing that healthy relationships—and marriage—are possible for them.
Final Thoughts
Marriage and childbirth are not disappearing—they are evolving. By addressing financial barriers, strengthening relationship skills, and fostering supportive communities, we can create an environment where individuals feel empowered to pursue the relationships and families they desire.
If you’re seeking support in building healthier relationships, improving communication, or preparing for a future partnership, counseling can be a transformative step. To learn more or schedule an appointment, visit Peridot Consulting and Treatment Solutions at: https://www.peridotconsultingandtreatmentsolutions.org/
You deserve relationships that thrive—and support is available to help you get there.