Grief Sucks: A Personal and Clinical Reflection

Grief sucks. It’s unpredictable, overwhelming, and often pushes our emotional boundaries in ways we never imagined. Yet, in the depths of grief, we sometimes discover parts of ourselves we didn’t know existed. We begin to redefine our place in a world that feels unfamiliar without the person—or thing—we’ve lost.

Loss is universal. We’ve all loved, and we’ve all lost. These experiences shape how we connect with others, how we build relationships, and how we protect ourselves. Emotional and physical walls often rise from the ashes of grief, built from the pain of love and the absence of it.

This blog explores grief from both personal and clinical perspectives. Our hope is to shed light on the deeply human experience of mourning and offer insight into healthier ways to navigate it.

Personal Reflections

Josh was my cousin. He shared a name with my older brother, and together we spent summers, holidays, and weekends at our uncle’s and aunts’ house. Josh was mischievous—curious and bold, much like my brother. They often found themselves tangled in adventures they were warned to avoid. But one thing kept them out of trouble: the drums. Both were phenomenal drummers, gifted with rhythm and timing far beyond their years.

Josh had a magnetic personality. He could charm anyone into giving him what he wanted—whether through clever persuasion or heartfelt offers of help. The bond between us was strong. We looked forward to every visit and dreaded the goodbyes.

One summer, Josh faced a choice: stay with my aunt and uncle or return to his hometown with his mother. He chose to go back. That decision would ripple through our family in ways we couldn’t foresee.

A week or so after school resumed, I came home to find my mother in tears. She sat my brother and me down and told us Josh had been in an accident. He didn’t survive. I was stunned. Tears welled up, but words escaped me. I knew our time in the small town would never be the same.

At his funeral, I didn’t cry. I just kept asking myself why it had to be him. I didn’t want anyone to be hurt—but why Josh? Since that day, I’ve avoided funerals. I prefer to remember people as they were in life. That feeling of denial and avoidance has stayed with me ever since.

Clinical Perspectives on Grief

Grief is often described in stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages offer a framework, it’s essential to understand that grief is not linear. You may experience multiple stages at once or revisit them over time.

Here’s a breakdown of the stages, adapted from Simple Practice:

·       Denial: Avoiding the reality of loss or refusing to talk about it.

·       Anger: Feeling resentment toward yourself, others, or the situation.

·       Bargaining: Wishing things had gone differently—“If only I had…” or “What if…?”

·       Depression: Experiencing sadness, hopelessness, and emotional fatigue.

·       Acceptance: Coming to terms with the loss and beginning to move forward.

As you reflect on these stages, consider where you are in your own grief journey. It’s essential to process your emotions—both through connection with loved ones and through intentional self-reflection. Sometimes, we distract ourselves by caring for others, neglecting our own healing in the process.

To support this journey, I recommend using a grief journal. Journaling helps you connect with your emotions, track changes in your thoughts and feelings, and recognize how grief may be reshaping your identity. These reflections can reveal a new version of yourself—one forged through loss, but also through resilience.

You Don’t Have to Navigate Grief Alone

If you or someone you care about is struggling with grief, know that support is available. At Peridot Consulting and Treatment Solutions, PLLC, we offer compassionate, professional guidance to help you make sense of your emotions and find a path forward.

Grief may feel isolating, but healing begins with connection. Let us walk beside you—bringing clarity, empathy, and meaningful strategies to help you through this deeply personal journey.

Reach out today. Your healing matters.